How to Be an Alpha Male: Attraction Secrets from James Bond

Being an alpha male defines a man who has assumed a dominant role in society. They are the symbol and manifestation of masculinity. Their authority places them as leaders in the pack.

James Bond represents our cultural masculine ideal. Whatever he is, it’s what so many men wish they could become.

Have you ever wondered what exactly he does to make all women shiver when they interact with him? I’ve done an attraction analysis of this famous role in the film industry.

1. Self-Confidence

This is the key, the pillar that connects all other elements. I can’t emphasize how important this is. But know this – Bond is always self-confident. He’s calm, he’s relaxed, and he is teasing.

Confidence is all about self-image and how you see yourself. James Bond sees himself as better than anyone else, which makes him extremely confident.

Usually, when a beautiful girl sits next to a guy, he will feel some kind of pressure. He will try to make her laugh or try to somehow grab her attention. Thus, he will show his excitement and nervousness, sometimes showing even a little awkwardness.

Although excitement can be attractive, there are exceptions. Girls know when a guy is excited only because he met a beautiful girl. And that is not attractive at all. It implies neediness and low status.

James Bond always does the opposite. When he talks to a girl, he always moves slowly and nonchalantly and never makes a big deal out of it.

2. Strong Eye-Contact

Most men won’t have a problem when a girl is talking to them. But when they are speaking, they will look away quite a lot. Most men won’t even notice that.

To a girl, this looks very diverting. She doesn’t know why you are distracted and can’t even focus on what you are talking about.

When you’re talking to a girl, practice strong eye contact. If she is speaking, occasionally look away. But when you are speaking, look at her ALL the time.

That way, you look way more confident and present in the moment. This literally plays with her brain because it makes you look very self-confident, while she needs to work a little bit harder to catch your attention.

3. Dress for the Occasion

An alpha male like James Bond knows the perfect way to present himself. If you want the world to take you seriously, take yourself seriously first.

Those who take care of their visual image always tend to step up in the crowd. In other words, be the type of person you would like to meet.

You don’t have to be always dressed up in a suit. But you should always tend to be better dressed than the others.

Speaking of which, suits should be on your list of clothes for formal, business, or meeting events. You should know how to fit your suit, of course.

By all means, you don’t go suited up at a Latino party. Even Bond showed up dressed as a clown in a circus. The message here is that you have to be confident in what you wear and make you look different from the other “males”.

One step further is to pay special attention to accessories, especially shoes. Try to look bespoke from head to toe, and you will definitely get that alpha male first-look impression.

Because, whether we like it or not, people judge the book by its cover.

4. Dominant Role

The key point is to take the initiative, even when you are not asked to do it. Demonstrate your presence, whether with actions or words.

Make all the little gestures that an alpha male is supposed to do, whether it’s pouring wine into a girl’s glass or opening the door for her.

Some of these gestures might sound silly. But when you do it, it trains your brain to think in a way that you are an alpha male, and you are in charge of everything. After a while, you will start to notice that it comes by itself.

Taking a dominant role for James Bond is natural to him, and he does it even without thinking about it. If this is not inborn or natural, ask yourself: “What would James Bond do?”. Then do it.

5. Get in Physical Form

We saw in Casino Royale that Bond is in perfect physical form. Although we don’t see this in the movies, we can only assume that he’s spent countless hours in the gym to accomplish that.

One thing to emphasize here – it’s not the shape that makes you an alpha male. It’s the physical power you possess in yourself. The ability to move heavy objects, the inner strength you have within you.

Learn how to fight. Boxing is good, too. Now, I don’t suggest you do fistfights as Bond does in the movies, but it’s a capability that makes you a man.

An alpha male knows how to take a swing with his fist. Alpha males don’t “turn the other cheek” when someone attacks them.

6. Do Your Thing

Bond is an initiator. He doesn’t live in someone else’s world; he shapes his own. Notice how Bond has his agenda. He follows his principles and passions.

What is more important is that he doesn’t need the approval of others to get things done. And he doesn’t rely on anyone.

A true alpha male does not need others to boost his ego. In fact, he knows his advantages and weakness and acts upon them.

He follows his own path and does his own thing. People don’t choose things for you; you choose them for yourself.

Find what you deeply like, and don’t let others tell you what to do. That doesn’t mean you have to confront them. Just do what you are supposed to do.

Or with the words of the great Robert Downey Junior: “Listen, smile, agree, and then do whatever the f-word you were going to do anyway”.

7. Master a Hobby

Bond’s pretty good at anything, from swimming to dancing and marksmanship. Although every hobby requires a lot of time and unsexy practice, try to find one that best suits you.

It can be a guitar or skiing. Regardless of your choice, make sure you master it.

Being exceptionally good at something makes you different from others and proves that you are capable. This creates attractiveness in women and makes them see you as a leader and a competent man.

8. Stay Focused

Concentrate on what moves you forward. Release whatever holds you back. Whether it’s a girl, an old friend that drags you down, or a job.

Just get rid of it; consider it dead and done. Invest time in improving yourself instead. Admirers will come by themselves.

Don’t fixate on women. Don’t depend on them, either. You might notice that Bond is attracted to women, but it’s sort of different.

He’s attracted physically, which is a part of our nature. He doesn’t need them; he doesn’t chase them. His mind is focused on what he wants to achieve, and he’s done with it.

If this sounds a little rough, it’s alright. We’re not ruthless, nor treat women as disposable as Bond treats them, but you get the point.

9. Humor is Your Friend

Remember the scene where Vesper told Bond she would keep an eye on the government’s money rather than his perfectly formed ass?

Bond simply replayed with: “You’ve noticed”! This is the level of humor an alpha male needs to develop.

Alpha males are not the clowns in the room. Don’t get me wrong; funny guys can get a lot of girls, too.

However, bold and intelligent humor is what real men strive for. It’s genuine and pleasurable, with a mysterious smirk on the face. It can be a little sarcastic but never spiteful.

10. High Standards

Applying high standards in your life includes a wide area of psychological awareness. It means setting your mind that you deserve to be a winner and knowing that you are.

This includes positive thinking and removing the negativity in your life, which is a huge beta-male factor.

You’ve probably noticed that James Bond doesn’t simply want to win the battle; he is determined to win, even if the odds are stacked against him. Simply put, he replaces hoping with knowing that he will get the job done.

From the first moment you talk to a girl, you can start being playful, assuming she’s already attracted to you.

Instead of hoping that a girl will like you, try to replace it with expecting that she already does. Combined with self-confidence, it can be a really powerful weapon.

11. Be Mysterious

Mystery creates interest. You’ve probably heard this before, but it’s important to notice that this is one of the alpha males’ key elements. The more clues a girl has about you but fewer answers, the better!

Quite often, you can notice James Bond’s smirk. It’s playful, mysterious, and shows self-confidence. So, instead of a laugh, try to replace it with a smirk.

I’m not saying alpha males don’t laugh, but when you want to be playful with a girl, a smirk establishes dominance.

An alpha male knows how to challenge a woman in a not-rude, mysterious way. If you want your compliments to be valuable to women, make sure you occasionally challenge them.

When a girl challenges you, though, ignore it with a smirk. Remain calm, unreactive, and move on.

12. Be Capable

When it comes to James Bond, you can’t miss how insanely capable he is. He’s an expert in hand-to-hand combat, parkour, driving, etc. The underline message here is that men should know how to do stuff.

Although capability distinguishes it from hobbies, most things require a lot of practice to learn how to do them. Keep in mind that learning is an essential piece if you actually want to achieve any of Bond’s skills.

Expect to be terrible the first time you do it – the first many times. You will probably spend many hours trying to achieve mastering a skill. It’s crucially important to appreciate that journey.

13. Conversation Leverage

Before you even speak, girls being interested in you is a very common trait for an alpha male. You don’t have to be extremely good-looking or rich to make this work.

Yes, having good posture and good body fit helps, but there’s something more to it.

Being charming, “divinely” powerful, or talented in something creates a sort of compelling attractiveness, also known as charisma.

It’s an ability to captivate a girl’s look without establishing verbal communication. It’s usually interpreted through body language, facial expressions, or eye contact.

14. Stand in Your Own Truth

Be clear and straight. Provide authenticity by being yourself. This way, you will feel like you are standing in your own truth, which is how an alpha male should feel.

Be honest, somebody that people can trust. Never exaggerate. Exaggeration quite often leads to lying.

Truth can sometimes be hard and painful, but it’s the only way to deal with life like a man.

15. Control Your Emotions

When we think of James Bond, we think of a man of action. But what really defines him is his inaction. He’s unreactive to things that are not crucial or important to him, especially when it comes to just words.

The bigger point here is that alpha male does not waste energy on needless anger, frustration, treads, or worry.

If you can change something to your benefit – then act. If not, just move on. No need to argue just because someone cuts your road on your way to work.

Let Go of Your Ego

Action above your ego! Remember that when it comes to controlling your emotions, always take your ego out of the equation.

No words can describe how important this is. Probably one of the most important traits that James Bond possesses.

The ego is a defense mechanism, and it only deludes you from achieving your goal. The alpha male is ego-less because he knows his capability and worthiness.

Adapt the mentality of not being disturbed by someone else’s words and pity actions. Let it go as fast as possible!

Don’t Open to Being Hurt

James Bond will not open himself to being betrayed (especially after Vesper). And since Bond represents the ultimate in masculinity, it applies that real men don’t open themselves to being hurt.

Real strength isn’t demonstrated by walling yourself, though. It’s shown by opening yourself up because caring and controlled emotions are useful.

Although, when the worst happens, you need to have what it takes to pick yourself up and move on.

16. Know-How to Flirt

Another thing you can’t miss about James Bond is that women love him. It’s because women tend to be attracted by the things previously mentioned.

Tend to be capable and mysterious, without the fear of rejection. Never be pushy or cowardly; just be confident and straightforward.

Let’s get one thing clear – we’re all going to be rejected at some point. Reacting and getting upset about it only solidifies that ‘NO’!

Remaining playful and not taking it personally gives you a chance that she might reconsider.

17. Stick to Your Ideals

Illustrated as one of the most romanticized traits in the movies, James is willing to die for his ideals. Realistically, we’re not going to be tortured by Le Chiffre or called upon to serve our country. However, there’s something metaphorical here.

The point is that you have to stick to your mission, whether in pain or hard times. Things that we pursue in our lives may not come easily.

Metaphorically, it may feel like we’re stripped naked and beaten. What keeps us going is our determination.

The truth is that – in our lives, we may be judged, disapproved by others, or encounter some difficulties. You must remain a man, an alpha male, in every situation, even in the face of adversity.

18. Seek Adventure

Life is action. So is the life of James Bond. You won’t see him sitting in front of the TV or playing video games.

Not because we haven’t seen this on a frame. It’s because alpha males do not spend their time locked inside their apartments for hours.

My point is not that the alpha male does not work in an office. Or does not sit in front of his PC. On the contrary, do your job and get things done. But when it comes to free time, the alpha male is active and adventurous.

Men nowadays spend their time playing video games and watching porn. This is what kills your masculinity and makes you a real-world coward.

James Bond is on an island with a model instead, sipping a dry martini and peeling off bikinis.

19. Be Prepared

Having a plan B is something you should always have in mind. Yes, Bond is careless and relaxed, but he always has various plans and scenarios inside his head when there’s work to be done.

Life is not something behind the scenes, and things may be quite different. Things may not work as they are supposed to. But, remember that you do not depend on anybody.

Consider it like playing chess. Being prepared for multiple scenarios gives you a better perspective and willpower to act accordingly when the opponent plays his move. It’s one of the key traits that boost your self-confidence.

20. Be a Leader

It’s one of the most dominant and bold demeanors of an alpha male. Leadership ability can be displayed in work and women alike. It doesn’t mean only taking charge of the situation but acting accordingly as well.

Bond didn’t win the “best spy in the business” title by chance. His leadership skills are remarkable, making everybody around to rely on him. That’s because he acts upon a situation and brings value to the team.

Analyzing your leadership qualities and identifying the areas where you can influence can be quite beneficial.

If leadership is not inborn for you, you might want to take some courses to evaluate and improve your leadership skills.

Becoming an Alpha Male

Up until now, I’ve tried to deconstruct our cultural masculine ideal. Some of it corresponds to pretty healthy behavior, yet some of it is questionable.

But once you start to understand how you may have been subtly influenced by it, you don’t have to accept it in Bond or anything without thinking.

Personally, I find Bond’s traits beneficial, and many of them improve my life. But those are just my feelings. You can purposely choose your own ideal instead of having it chosen for you.

This brings me to my final point in being an alpha male – be your own cultural ideal.